Being Real

I have been praying for God to allow me to open up and just BE REAL. I have a really hard with opening up because I am just afraid. But this last week God has really shown me that I can open up and it is ok. I have such an amazing group of women in my life right now and it so doesn't matter what's going on, they don't judge but they can relate. It is so freeing when I don't have to put a mask on for people to like me but to be able to just be me. It takes a lot less energy for me to be me than to hold back and try and put a mask on.

I am amazed at the women around me who accept me for me. It is funny because we can all laugh at our imperfections together instead of taking it so seriously. I feel the more that I open up and be transparent the more that I realize that I am not alone. What a great feeling it is!!!!

I am so excited about this revelation because this is the first time in my life that I am allowing myself to be free and just be transparent. You see, I was raised to not show my real self and always be made up and put a front up. I have always struggled with this but God is freeing me from this. I am really starting to understand that HE wants us to live in community and not in isolation. I have lived in isolation for so long that I am done with that. I have such a desire to get to know real christian women and I am constantly doing that.

I am so excited about the women's retreat at our church at the end of April. It is going to be an amazing time of fellowship and I pray that the women who come will break through those walls that we all put up and to allow people to get to know them for the precious jewel that they all are. This retreat is putting such a fire in me and God is revealing a lot to me in this whole journey.


Ok so I am sitting here blogging about being transparent when Tristen comes up to me and I can smell something really funky. I mean really funky. (By the way I was really focused on what I was saying and this doesn't happen very often.) So I am looking on his hands but nothing was on there that I can visibly see but I smelled them and WOW...yuck. I am looking all around on him and I turned him around and he had diarrhea running down both legs. So I proceed to try and change his diaper and I was gagging and almost throwing up. So I cleaned up most of it on him and put him in the bath. I happened to look in his room while getting his clothes and stuff and I noticed that there is poop dripping off of his fire truck that he sits on. I literally mean dripping off and is completely covered in poop. I am not really sure how it got so covered without him using his hands. (I know that is why too much information but ya know it's the truth.)

So I am freakin' just a bit but there is more to the story. Ya see, we have someone from our Life Insurance company coming over in a hour so we can make a change on our life insurance policy. So I am calling Brent freakin' out to see if we can reschedule this meeting but Brent said no because we have put this off too much. So I am thinking great then this guy is going to walk into a house smelling like poop. So at the moment I have the windows open and trying to air out the house before he comes over. I am just hoping that I got all the poop off of everything. I think I have, I really searched the house for it. So there ya go....oh the joys of motherhood. All I can do right now is laugh.